Breadrolls under your shirt, fuller lips, and bouncy curls: social media, influencer videos and online forums are full of endless tips on how to make the most out of your appearance. That in itself isn’t new, but the term looksmaxxing is. What does it actually mean?
What is looksmaxxing?
Maxxing simply means optimizing. Looksmaxxing is about improving your appearance. It often starts small and is seemingly harmless with softmaxxing: a shelf full of skincare products, a strict workout routine, healthier eating. Not a problem in itself.
It becomes more complicated when youngsters start to feel they must follow these routines to be “good enough.” In more extreme forms, appearance turns into a full‑time project. Think of gym‑bro culture, where training, eating and schedules dominate daily life. Enjoyment gives way to pressure, and stopping feels like failure.
When does it become a problem?
With extreme forms of looksmaxxing, some teenagers take things too far, using methods such as thumb pulling (pressing against the roof of the mouth to change facial structure). The use of anabolic steroids or procedures like a Brazilian butt lift also fall into this category. There is also a lot of media concern about bonesmashing — hitting the face with hard objects to create a sharper jawline. There is also a lot of concern in the media about bonesmashing (hitting the face with hard objects to achieve a more defined jawline), but it is unclear how many young people are actually doing it.
And then there’s AI. Some tools scan your face and give you a score (like Umax, Looksmax AI and PrettyScale). There are also so‑called “mogging” tools, where your face is compared to others and you can “win” or “lose”. And as you can imagine, this can really increase the pressure to be perfect.
This is rarely about vanity. Underneath the drive to optimize often lies a deeper belief: that you only matter if your body is “right.”
Why boys (and why now?)
Girls have long grown up with the pressure of beauty standards. Boys experienced it too, but often in subtler ways: the strong man, the athletic hero. Today, boys are bombarded all day long with images, rankings and “tips” that reinforce a narrow ideal.
In spaces like the manosphere, this is often framed as discipline, self‑control and self‑improvement. Looksmaxxing doesn’t feel like insecurity – it feels like working on yourself.
What can parents do?
Don’t panic if your child is focused on their appearance. That’s part of growing up, especially during puberty. Also, there is still (too) little research into the actual impact of “looksmaxxers” and how many boys really move on to extreme forms. What does matter is staying involved.
Ask what appeals to them. Talk openly about beauty standards. Explain that social media (and especially AI tools) show only a tiny, heavily curated slice of reality.
Seek help if:
- Your kid is hurting themselves
- Substances are involved (such as steroids)
- Eating or exercise becomes compulsive
- They withdraw, feel ashamed, or become socially isolated
Avoid lectures. Focus on safety and support. Name what you see and reach out for help if needed – through a pediatrician or family doctor, a school counselor, or trusted organizations
